Warm beer workout

By Michael Stevenson

I just came from the gym and had a great workout. Somehow, in just one hour I lost seven pounds and became really muscular. But two other things happened! I noticed my treadmill had this wonderful aroma! It took me a few seconds before I deduced it was that happy,hoppy smell of warm beer – like the smell in a seedy local bar at 7am with the sun pouring in from a window directly on last night’s half-empty can of Schlitz! I LOVE that smell! Then I thought, “Hmmm, am I smelling the beer-sweat of the last mick who was on this treadmill?” That would be ok, I guess. Then I thought, “Well, I myself might exude this hoppy beer-sweat much of the time.”

So, I must smell pretty good to some people and pretty bad to other people.

The other thing was this: I was listening to my IPod while running on the beer-scented treadmill and the great Nina Simone was singing “To Love Somebody” – and Nina gender-corrects that powerful verse “I’m a man! Can’t you see that I am?” to “I’m a woman! Can’t you see that I am!” … and I was singing that part (“I’m a woman! Can’t you see that I am?”) loud enough that the guy next to me looked at me kinda funny and left.

Or maybe he just doesn’t like the smell of warm beer.